"Why are we our BIGGEST bully?"
- Oct 14, 2023
- 4 min read
And here it is, the one thing we never really ask ourselves, I'm going to indulge your mind, ask you things, and make you think about this for a second. Please come, sit, and read, I promise it's worth it.
For some, it may be confusing when reading back this question. How could we possibly be our biggest bully? Bullies are nasty, right? Ever dealt with them online or even in person? Had that one bully in high school that never left you alone? A bully to ourselves is like a darker version of you, always taunting the negative things, always pestering and you just wanna shake that dark thing off. It's an annoying little bastard, am I right?
Let me give you a better understanding of what I'm trying to say here, when you think about it, we are always criticizing ourselves daily, DAILY. When we see something we don't like, we make a face, we target our flaws, and sometimes look in the mirror and hate seeing what is looking right back at us. We shame our bodies or the skin we live in. It's how we treat our self-image, turning that disgust into hate, when you think about the definition of a bully, it's the same.
How often do you say something negative about yourself?
1-2 times a day
4-5 times a day
Daily
Not at all
Now that I'm turning the gears in your head, answer the question with the following choices.
Bully : a blustering, browbeating person
especially: one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable
We constantly threaten ourselves that we don't deserve someone else's love, attention, affection, or kindness. We insult ourselves on how we dress, using terms such as "stupid" "ridiculous" "not worthy" or "weak". I could go further down the list of other things we tend to call ourselves but the point is, no one can be a bigger bully than we already are to ourselves daily. Now this can change, we can also be our very first love, our peacemaker, etc. What we perceive in others is what we tend to lack in our very selves. But we can also be the ones to make that change, we don't have to bully ourselves, yeah, it'll happen occasionally where we might joke around and call ourselves dumb. But in all seriousness, change has to happen within ourselves. We are the one that has to initiate the change for it to happen.
"Don't like something? Change it."
It's not an easy process, of course, we can sit here and say. "Yeah I'm going to change, I'm not a bully." But as you all are probably familiar with the saying, "actions speak louder than words" it's vital. You have to put in the work for the progress to begin. Learn to speak kind to yourself, love your flaws, and show immense passion for the skin you live in.
We have to learn to stop putting ourselves so low with ugly words about ourselves. Sometimes those words are left on you like scars, or an annoying red wine stain you've been trying to get out of your grandmother's carpet. Self-doubt, and shaming yourself does nothing but bring you further down than you already feel. Do not let what others say or think determine how you see yourself. Who cares what they think? Wear that birthday suit loud and proud! You were born beautiful and different just like every other being on this planet.
It is okay to not like something, It is okay to feel some kind of way about yourself. You are only human. Think of it like this, if every single person was born to not like something, or have any kind of negative emotion about anything, we be one hell of a bland planet right? No one is a saint, and no one can say they never shamed themselves before about absolutely anything. Even aliens probably look at themselves and judge how far apart their eyes are, or how long their fingers are. Crappy analogy, I know, but you get my point sorta, right? Sure you do, or you wouldn't be this far into the reading.
The world is filled with ugly and good, darkness and light, positive and negative. Let's not add to that by allowing ourselves to judge every single little thing about ourselves. I'm sounding repetitive, aren't I? Maybe because it's warranted. Bullying ourselves leads to bullying our minds, corrupting our souls. It all starts with ourselves, every single second of every day. From the time you wake to the time you close your eyes. Keep that in perspective, can you really afford to keep mentally crippling yourself? I know I can not, but again IT HAPPENS, and that's okay. But just be aware of it, and do not let it continue happening because we hate bullies! So why bully yourself on things when you can change it? Improve it?
It all falls back on us, we have to want to make a difference in our lives. Sometimes the only way that difference starts, or even happens is by starting with ourselves.
Concluding Notes:
Thank you for taking the time and reading, it always means a lot to write about things you guys ask me! Do not be afraid to shoot me a message if you are interested in something you would like me to talk about!
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this was such a good way to open the door on the discussion of self love. we're all our biggest critics, the one who pushes ourselves to major setback. most times, we push that energy onto others, and they join in on the bash train. self love is hard, but taking the right steps to uplift ourselves allows nothing to bother you. it allows no one to use anything as ammo against you!